I must admit it was hard to leave home and come back to El Salvador. Everything seems to come a little harder and take a little longer than expected these days. It's taken a few weeks to readjust once again to life here, throwing the tp in trash, coming home to a guy living in my house, the bugs that never cease, the heat, not having readily available water, getting my electricity randomly cut off for weeks, nearly getting run over by a mule, you know the usual stuff. But I am here, now, most days.
I've been teaching English a lot lately in El Chaguite, a very small rural community a 25 minute walk from Las Marias. The school runs kinder-4th grade, with only two classrooms and two teachers. They have many basic needs, but we have decided to start working together on a garden that will produce vegetables the kids would otherwise not receive. We are also going to bring running water to the school. We'll see how it goes. I have only managed to keep a small potted plant alive for more than a few months, so a whole garden might be a challenge. I have really enjoyed working with them. They need so much that the littlest thing I do is a help, and their smiles, sticky fingers and hugs are all I need in return.
I have to continually remind myself to get out there, engage with my community and love on the kids. Sometimes it is just too easy to stay in my hammock and read for hours on end, and there begins the fall. I get lonely, withdraw and it's just a downward spiral from there. I have never been a melancholic person but it is so easy to get weary, drained physically and emotionally and lose sight of what I am doing here. Below are the lyrics to a song that has really been getting me through the tough days and reminding me no matter where I am to be here, in my community, in this foreign family I have joined. But not only to just be here physically but to also engage emotionally and spiritually.
Be Here Now, by Ray Lamontagne
Don't let your mind get weary and confused
Your will be still, don't try
Don't let your heart get heavy child
Inside you there's a strength that lies
Don't let your soul get lonely child
It's only time, it will go by
Don't look for love in faces, places
It's in you, that's where you'll find kindness
Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now
Don't lose your faith in me
And I will try not to lose faith in you
Don't put your trust in walls
'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall
Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now
It's a beautiful song if you want to listen to it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBSnR4ZP2MI&feature=related
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2 Comments... One: Wow, that song is amazingly beautiful! I listened to it on YouTube. Two: There was a MAN living in your house when you got back?!?!? What?! I would have felt so violated! I'm guessing you kicked him out!?
ReplyDeleteJesus, our King, lived in His Perfect Kingdom and came down to bugs, no toilet paper, sickness, hate, and more. He knows all your ups and downs and He is molding you into His likeness. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you!
ReplyDeleteI will send you a care package...tell me the top three things you want most that I can reasonable ship!!
Love you, sister,
Elizabeth
Jen,
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about you, with all the news about the problems in Guatemala and El Salvador, and hoping you're OK. I'm happy to see your posts, and that you're well.
In dance class we're getting ready for recital June 11th.
I know you've had to get used to a lot down there. I lived in Spain in college. Not nearly the same type of experience as you're having. But, I'll remember that experience always, and I know you'll remember yours for the rest of your life. Just be sure to ENJOY it while you're there.
Besos para los ninos, y para ti tambien.
Jan (from Tap class)